Nothing (much) To Report

I quite like Megaliths. They tend to inspire a sense of awe and amazement in pagans or historians. Some folk see them as a bloody inconvenience in their field. Some think that standing atop them is fun; others would quite like to twat them for doing so.

I now present for your enjoyment, or as a very good reason to find something infinity more compelling to do, a story involving these ponderous lumps of rock. Note: I was big on the witchy thing back when these events took place, not that it matters to the story. Or to you. Or even to me now.

I think I've mentioned Moosh before. She's done some interesting things, considerably and frequently more so than I, and she really should have her own blog. Especially for all those Russian goings-on.

A couple of years back she invited me along to watch the sun rising on the summer solstice at Stonehenge, and then drive all the way to London to sort out her visa to get into Russia. Except I didn't quite gasp this. I understood the Stonehenge bit, but didn't take in the London bit. I thought was happening another day. In retrospect, not fully understanding the situation was probably for the best.

My memory hasn't held out too well on some of the finer points of this story, but I'll try to make as coherent as possible. In fact, this happened back in 2002, So I'm very surprised I've remembered as much as I have!

Off we toddled (oh, by we I mean: me, Moosh and Tossface™, as he shall be known, I refuse to utter his name; her boyf at the time) from somewhere around here, to Avebury first off. I seem to remember it being quite a long journey, for some reason. We may or may not have gotten lost, or I was a bit bored.

Having got to Avebury, we parked, stretched, collected our particulars including a sheet of blue tarpaulin (watch out for the tarp later!) and a large bottle of cider and a few cans of lager, which later become Snakebite in the bottle. The first - and most definitely the very last - time I've ever consumed that combination. Then we did some walking, to the stones. Walking or standing still features a lot in my memory with regards to this story.

On the walk up to the stones, one passes a pub. I would have loved to have gone in that pub, simply because I like going in pubs. In fact, Moosh and quaffing of alcoholic beverages is a nice little mental parcel for me. With the odd game of pool or darts (dodgy when drunk!) thrown in. But we didn’t do any of that. We walked on past. I wept, on the inside.

To say it was a slight anti-climax once we'd reached the site, would be downplaying the disappointment I felt at the time. If I'd been younger I would almost certainly sulked. I think in part I felt this because there is no immediate wow factor, unlike Stonehenge, which is probably why Avebury isn’t as famous or popular. It's a huge site, you only really notice how big when you walk around it, which we did, doing our best to avoid the masses of sheep poo. And trying not to break our ankles when descending the banks of the ditches. You also notice that it's hardly complete, thanks to the Christians of the 14^thC trying to eradicate the pesky pagan ways of the local population. I think it’s likely that landowners of the 17^th and 18^th centuries are also responsible for removing and breaking up stones, but don’t hit or sue me if I’m wrong.

After our wandering about we decided to park ourselves for a bit inside the circle. Which meant more avoidance of sheep crap, which was difficult as it was everywhere. We sat, and chilled, drank a bit more snakebite and not a lot else. The entire site wasn’t heaving with people, and everyone was quite relaxed. There was some poi action, which excited Moosh. I was ambivalent about poi at Avebury, at Stonehenge and at Ashton Court and I still am.

After a while, I think it’s possible we were bored. So we left for Stonehenge. But one or two of us needed the loo and it was thought best to go now. Except we couldn’t find any toilets. And then we got lost around some barns. I don’t think anyone peed beside the one of the barns, it was still light and there were folk about, but I can’t remember how the problem was resolved.

The ‘Henge was a very different kettle of fish. Masses of people caused a rather long queue, just to park. We left Moosh’s little white Nova alone amongst the thousands of other cars, trying to memorise roughly where it’s position was, without the aid of GPS. Another little trek followed, but with an opportunity to purchase incense and other sundry items en route. Word filtered down through the casual ensemble that the local plod were checking how much alcohol peeps were planning on taking in to the enclosure, and that any glass items would be removed from your possession, which is entirely reasonable, on reflection. Some crusty looking souls were trying to manoeuvre wheelbarrows in; truly the least sensible and selfish idea they had had that day. It was at this point that Tossface™ got a little concerned. For he was carrying the probably tiny amount of pot that had been, *cough* somehow acquired. It was highly unlikely that the police would have been conducting full body searches on everyone there, but still Tossface™ felt it wise to hide the stash in the safest place he knew. His pants. Well, I would have never looked there. We were shooed through the police check point with no problems, the quantity of alcohol we were carrying was within acceptable limits.

I don’t think I’d ever been surrounded by that many of my fellow members of humanity before (I’ve lived a sheltered life, ok?). It was awash, brimming, chock-full, crammed, jam-packed, overflowing, stuffed, swarming, teeming, thronged, wall-to-wall with people. (Don’t you just love thesaurus.com?)

Surrounded by bodies as we were, we decided that the best course of action would be to circle the stones. I don’t think was directly because we wanted to piss large of numbers of people off, it was simply a consequence. The fact that we were carrying a rolled up hefty bit of tarp with us may not have helped in making any new friends. Although there was a tarp fight with someone, all very amicable. And a few heads were tapped lightly with said tarp. This activity become known as tarping and it was agreed (by Moosh and I, if no one else) that tarping was a good thing.

I believe it was during this walk around that Tossface™ quietly announced that he’d lost the pot. Remarkably, neither Moosh nor I lost the plot with him. He may have received a severe tarping, I can’t remember though.

For most of the night we were stood on one spot, there wasn’t a huge amount of choice in the matter. We’d somehow managed to position ourselves directly next to the Hare Krishnas. Boy, does that chanting get into your brain and cause you to think nasty, horrible, evil thoughts, or what?! Or is that just me?

As there wasn’t a huge amount to see or do overnight, after a while the tarp went down on the ground and we plonked ourselves down on it. This is where the tarp became very useful for the second time that night. The police and volunteers weren’t allowing any candles to be lit, which is sensible thinking back, but it would have been nice to have some heat. My, it was chilly, even amongst the throng. There were a few pillocks who thought climbing atop of the stones was a jolly good laugh, or maybe they thought they were getting in touch with they spiritual side. Who knows, I can say that I for one wasn’t impressed by their antics, and was a little concerned for the poor lichen.

The night seemed to, frankly, go on forever. That was possibly one of the longest nights I have ever known. Moosh and Tossface™ seemed to be snoozing at one point, right about the same time a couple were wandering near us selling special truffles. I would’ve bought one, if I had my money, but my cash was in a sleepy someone’s bag. I’m not one to deprive others of their slumber time.

Eventually, daylight started appearing. Oh, and it was cloudy. Yes, no one saw the sun rise that year, for it was overcast. How depressing. And then, just to add to the joyous nature of the event, it started raining. We had tarp though, and thus, it became extremely useful once again. Who needs an umbrella when you have tarp, a tarp that can attract many to shelter under it? We were, for a while, a blue human-caterpillar-type-thingy. Someone did try to get the crowd to join in with some singing, but the mood had been lost. I believe we did dance under the tarp.

Overall, my memories of that night are, in no particular order: tarp, rain, cloud, cramped, freezing bloody cold, no loo roll, trying not to sit in piss (the portaloos) and poo (sheep), disappointment, tiredness. And this man. For more photo's, the type of a far higher quality than I've shared, see this. (I don't remember it being that green!)

I may have probably moaned like a good ‘un. I quite good at moaning, ask anyone who knows me. But I had even greater reason to moan later….