Nothing (much) To Report

• (a very poor example of) a female carbon-based biped, but you may have already guessed that.
• single. This is unlikely to change within the near or long term future.
• the eldest of 3, with one sibling of each sex.
• the daughter of a carpenter and a slightly scary (in her day) former mental health nurse.
• cursed glad to have both parents still alive and kicking (me up the arse).
• the primary carer to my mother.
• a sister-in-law, but just the once.
• an ex-witch.
• a sceptic, and a bit of a cynic.
• either funny or very dull, depending on your point of view.
• easily bored.
• frustrated in an un-quantifiable number of ways.
• an untidy horder.
• a former Wet Wet Wet fan. Oh, the shame!
• a modest eBay junkie.
• a jaffa cake fiend.
• shamed by my increasingly appalling handwriting.
• more scared of babies than they are of me.
• a Firefox lurva.
• hoping that one day I will own a proper, fully-working version of Linux.
• irritated at my own frequent repetition of opinions, stories and statements, far more so than my friends or family are by me.
• more of a spender than a saver.
• blighted with a Teflon-coated, sieve-like brain. (I spelt that word correctly, for once!)
• a cider (scrumpy rather than icky commercial stuff) drinker, a rum drinker, a wine drinker, a vodka drinker, a snapps drinker, a bourbon drinker, but not a lager/beer/ale drinker.
• a too regular Bargain Booze customer.
• not a vegetarian.
• a non-smoker.
• unable to drive.
• rubbish at:
  • telling jokes
  • reading maps
  • darts
  • pool
  • cards
• trying to get reasonably fit.
• determined never to go back on anti-depressants, ever.
• a loather of broad beans, beetroot, and blue cheese. And my dad's cooking, *shh!*
• a law breaker.
• keen to be someone's mistress, someday, but not their bitch.
• often surprised at my honesty and openness with strangers.
• not in love with myself but neither am I quite the self-loather or self-harmer I once was.
• a decent enough cook.
• a fan of apples, (all fruit infact) quality Cheddar, Earl Grey tea, the Co-op's own Fair Trade Milk Chocolate, ice cream - without bits in it, the Co-op in general, Marmite, honey sandwiches.
• a hater of the iron and ironing board.
• an erstwhile heat magazine subscriber. There are better things in life.
• unlikely to ever produce my own offspring.
• a buyer of more books than I have space for.
• a reader of gothic horrors, detective-type thrillers, sci-fi/fantasy nonsense, laugh-so-hard-that-you-almost-wet-yourself comedies, and the odd female erotic fiction paperback. And the occasional blog.
• scared of heights, wasps and crane flies.
• a girl of simple pleasures, something I realise more and more the older I get.
• a school dropout, which I will regret forever
• probably doomed to be still at home until I'm of pensioner age, tis the punishment for the previous point.
• unemployable.
• yearning to be an A P T.
• wishing I had a life.
• surprising liberal in my view of things, considering the dodgy view of my parentage.
• a mostly armchair gardener.
• not a computer geek.
• more of a language and history geek.
• totally lacking in anything original to write, that is why this post exists.
• going to write about the connection between Simon Pegg and The Citizen, possibly next.

[potentially incomplete post]