How to have the ultimate wank
Well, yes, precisely.
I love reading the weird and wonderful search terms that people use to find this blog, and we’ve made postings of them before, so I thought it was about time we did again. I’d say about 60% of the time people seem to be searching for something wank-related. Now, we may have mentioned wanking quite a lot on this blog - but I never thought it would have got us into page one on google. I also love the fact that for certain Aerosvit searches, we now actually come above the official company website ranking. A big Woo yay for that achievement!
The remaining 40% appears to be shared between the aforementioned Aerosvit, bed mites, Border guards and a whole load of weird and wonderful shit we’d forgotten we’d ever written about. Oh, and not forgetting Fern Britton (I’m kicking myself I didn’t take a picture now, I really am - sorry folks…although she wasn’t in her bikini, like lots of you were hoping)
Here are some of my recent personal favourites:
BIG ANAL (I’m loving the use of capitals there)
aunty using blouse with white bra (eh?)
we used to take acid to make the world w (Gaaaah - we need the search terms to stop limiting the number of characters! Now we’ll never know exactly what the world was like for them on acid - although I have a good idea…)
crappiest flat in uk (That’s easy, that’s where I used to live in London Road, Stroud)
daytime hardon (errrm, can’t comment on that I’m afraid)
classy tit wank (I just love that - they’re not looking for any old tit wank!)
nothing like a good wank (quite right)
aerosvit bad (oh I don’t know, not all airlines have staff you can drool over)
procrastination kidney (What’s one of those?)
and finally…
unimportant news (awwww, now that’s a bit harsh)
-moosh
p.s. For those who’ve found this page by putting “how to have the ultimate wank” into a search engine - My only advice on the matter is this: it’s all in the mind.
And it’s for precisely this reason that some people have wank banks - to store images/scenarios for future self-love sessions. Myself included. *cough*
Now, let this be an end to all this onanism.
=/ said,
11 May, 2007 at 12:57 am
lol
James said,
21 February, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Now I’v had my fair share of wanks but is it any different when a woman does it?
Bob said,
21 February, 2008 at 10:47 pm
James your a dickhead! But somebody do explain
moosh said,
22 February, 2008 at 10:54 am
Given that you’re the same person James/Bob…perhaps you’d like to explain to yourself?
friedo said,
7 March, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Nah, no different really, I do it WAY better. I’d say a blow job comes close though.
Bea Whale said,
9 March, 2008 at 12:39 am
Well, I think I can speak for both authors in saying, good for you!