Rascist plants
Is it possible, I hear you asking. To that, I say yes. My poor lemon tree is living proof that plants can be rascist too.
You see, I bought 2 very small orange trees and a large healthy lemon tree to sit in my conservatory and make me feel like I’m in somewhere nice like Italy instead of dull and dreary Stroud in winter. I feed them all the same citrus plant feed and they all were re-potted nicely with some John Innes. I now realise my mistake in putting the lemon tree in the middle of 2 orange trees, because I’m sure they picked on it something rotten, for by the end of last summer all but about 5 leaves fell off the lemon tree whilst the bullying orange trees have gone from strength to strength.
Bastards.
It’s just my luck to pick out the bloody rascist plants. I’m sure not all orange trees are rascist - maybe I should buy another lemon tree to even things up a bit in the conservatory. Will drag my arse round to the garden centre on Sunday, hangover permitting. (We’re going out for a pre-drink drink on Saturday to decide where to go when we next go out drinking)
Unfortunately, I can already predict what will happen: we’ll be brave and go to some strange pubs (hopefully not ringing the landlord from the bar to ask where the toilets are, and then being too scared to go to the loo because he’d then know it was us who just rung him from about 5 foot away) go in there, possibly break something/laugh at the clientele, leave, wander aimlessly and then end up back in “good old” Cafe Rene. Because Cafe Rene is just the best pub ever (except that it doesn’t sell Fruli - it’s one downside), so why the hell do we ever bother going anywhere else. A question we ask ourselves every. single. time. But are powerless to stop it. Gaaaah!
So if you do ever see us, leaving Cafe Rene - please, please just tell us to save ourselves some time and go back inside.
Ta muchly,
-moosh
Tags: Cafe Rene, Rascist Plants, lemon trees, orange trees
