Floods Two
Actually, ‘er, over there somewhere, has gotten off very lightly. She merely lost her water supply for a few short hours due to a small supply malfunctions, unlike I, who along with the good people of Tewkesbury, Cheltenham and surrounding areas, and the chavs of Gloucester are in the full hard-on grip of the total no-water situation. I say no-water, but there’s loads of the bloomin’ stuff. It’s falling out of the sky right now, as though it’s not rained all summer.
I have to endure more horrid sponge baths than is right, or normal. I’m not camping, I’m not at a festival! If I where I’d have the brain-deadening effects of beer to enjoy and thus wouldn’t worry too much about some greasy hair or slightly whiffy pits (they’re not, btw!).
I* have to seek out fresh bottled water supplies, and queue for the freebies or pay stoopid amounts of money for water. Incidentally I hate bottled water and all that the industry stands for. But right now, I do really fucking love it.
It’s I* who has to hunt for water in bowsers, and then fight of other grumpy gits complaining about my taking of said water. Finding a bowser that actually has water in it is quite an achievement in and of itself, due to the wonderful cuntyflap kids who think it’s a great laugh to empty the fucking things.
I’m the one who is slightly concerned about the amount of water that somehow is getting through to my ceiling, and then dripping on my head. That’s not a good way to wake up although it is very effective.
I‘m not the one who has lost carpets, or furniture, or precious photographs, or important documents, or a home, or loved ones due to flood waters pouring into my house. I may be a little bit damp, and quite wet about the situation, but I’m very lucky.
*Possibly not the entire truth, but you don’t need to know that. Just didn’t want to be outed as a big fat liar by herself.
_Bea Whale
Tags: Gloucester+Floods, Woe, Sponge+bath, bowser, cuntyflaps
