Threesome survey
Your country needs you.
Well, OK, Moosh does. I need your views, opinions and experiences for my totally non-scientific survey. About threesomes (and lets not just limit it to threesomes, we’ll chuck in orgies too)
I want, nay need, to know just how far you’ve been down that road. The questions are as follows:
1) Have you ever been with more than one person at a time?
2) What sex are you? Aaaaaaand, what sex was everyone else there (We’re talking M to F ratio here)?
3) If you’ve never had one, would you like one?
4) If you’ve had the opportunity to have one, but didn’t - why not?
I can hear you all asking “but why, Moosh?” And the answer is simple. I was musing a recent topic of conversation up on Selsley Hill this afternoon, freezing my nads off (if I’d had any) and reckoned that I must be the only person in the whole world to have not already had a threesome. It’s just one of those “100 things to do before you’re 30″ type of jobs, isn’t it?
Well, a quick text later to Bea explaining my lamentations, and as it turns out she feels my pain. And also regrets many peoples lack of interest when talking about poo, but that’s another story.
A conversation at this moment with an ex-colleague of mine via skype, reveals his threesomelessness too and he’s 40.
So it got me wondering about the rest of the population, and I am quite a nosey person - watching that guy indulging in some self-gratification in Amsterdam was the ultimate reward for such a closet dogger as myself.
It’s not that I haven’t actually had the opportunities to have multiple partners at once, because I have. At a nightclub back in the dim and distant past of 2003ish a friend and I were drinking with some amiable fellows when they suggested we all went back to their hotel room. There were 4 of them (if I remember correctly) and just 2 of us. I remember her looking at me, and me looking at her and for maybe 2 seconds we were both seriously considering it…but then it was like the green cross code man was sat on our shoulders: always look both ways before crossing the road, never except sweets from strangers etc. And that was it. We declined.
You could say it was all very sensible to not go back to 4 strange mens hotel room (thanks 70s public information films!). And you’d probably be right. At least that’s what I shall tell myself - they were all mad axe murderers anyway.
On the flip side of unknown murderers though, was when I spent a blissful summer living in a one bedroomed flat with about 10 other people. Quite often there would be 5 of us in bed at any given time, so when 2 people started getting a little frisky - I remember looking round at the other 3 people in the room…and we all looked at each other. We were a, how to put it…a relaxed kind of community, and I think all of us were waiting for just one person, just one, to kick things off. The tension in the air crackled - everyone felt it. I just don’t know for the life of me why I didn’t kiss the girl next to me that I’d fancied for ages.
Unfortunately I can’t blame David Prowse for the lack of action on my part for that one, so I just had to chalk that up to experience.
Ah well, I’m confident that with 10 months to go until I hit 30 I will have another opportunity to tick this off my list. Hopefully :S
-moosh
gareth said,
17 February, 2008 at 1:40 am
Thought i’d kickstart the survey. Sad fact is that the nearest ive got to a 3some is just sexual fantasy, but guess thats like the majotity. Just a bit scared how i’d go about convincing gf without messing up relationship. Besides im not quite sure how to go about finding another girl or two that might be up for it!! I’d love to make 2 women orgasm simultaneously - i know i could do it. I think i’d also get turned on seeing a couple of girls exploring each other, just the thought makes me feel excited. So what i need to know is where the sexually starved girls in Glos hang out and how will i recognise the tell tale “up 4 it” signs.
Deano said,
17 February, 2008 at 12:17 pm
yes, male (1:5 female to male ratio)
when r u free?
moosh said,
17 February, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Ooo! Survey results so soon!
So, firstly thanks Gareth - long time no see, eh? I’m almost glad that I’m not the only person in the world. Everyone I’ve spoken to so far has been amazingly honest, and it’s shocked me! OK, so perhaps I haven’t asked my Dad or anything (quite frankly, I think I’d rather not know the answers) but I think for many people it’s just a fantasy. And we all know that sometimes, it’s best not to actually act on fantasies - because they’ll never be as good as the ones in our head. Sadly.
Sexually starved girls in Glos? Hmmm, well - you could try KCs…it always struck me as quite easy pickings (people shagging under the stairs etc) but if you want more than just a chavette on a few Bacardi Breezers, I’m affraid I don’t have the answers. Even less for the “up 4 it” signs…maybe we could make badges for people “I’m up for a threesome/orgy/gang bang - fancy it? (delete where appropriate)” It could be very marketable!
Hello too, to Dean. Ta muchly for reminding me of gangbangs! How could I have forgotten. Shame on me
Anon said,
17 February, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Opportunity declined, a number of years ago I was ‘asked’ to enter into a room of two people (m/f) and then everything would be arranged for me (m) to ‘enter’ in the rear!! of my friends g/f ‘rear’ while he was ‘up front’. So cloak and dagger. Ah well.
Looking back, a very odd situation I declined, although I do enjoy anal (only with a f), it may have been somewhat ‘dirty’ and not quite the experience I should be doing for sheer pure orgasmic delight!! I thought I may spend the rest of my life regretting it!
moosh said,
18 February, 2008 at 1:20 pm
That all sounds like it was, well, cloak and dagger like you said! And they may well have harboured secret desires to murder you horribly under the pretense of anal sex. So, no need for the life-long regret!
So come on then, who are you? I bet you’re some tory MP
driverrob said,
20 February, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Since I’m here again, I might as well respond, too.
No, you’re not alone, Moosh.
We who haven’t indulged are probably in the majority, too, I’d bet.
I’ll setle for being happily married for many years.
Your next door neighbour said,
21 February, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Oh yeah,well I’ve had my fair share of three somes(ok no one likes to brag *cough 4 cough*)
moosh said,
22 February, 2008 at 10:52 am
Thanks rob, it’s good to hear a case for t’other side!
And to my next door neighbour I’d say…that’s all well and good, but can you stop with the sex and fix your fence please?
Actually all my next door neighbours keep running away (4 in 2 years), although I’m impressed that a 70 year old lady with chintzy wallpaper can still have not 1, but 4 threesomes. Go girl!
Marc said,
5 March, 2008 at 5:57 am
I am a male — and I have been with one female. Still carrying the fantasy of being with two ladies at the same time.
Being starved for sex, having a threesome has entered my imagination even more. I am more than happy to have lady volunteers.
naughtylover said,
25 March, 2008 at 5:43 pm
1) Have you ever been with more than one person at a time?
Yes. It was very, very nice.
2) What sex are you? Aaaaaaand, what sex was everyone else there (We’re talking M to F ratio here)? I’m a girl. Played with a boy and another girl.
3) If you’ve never had one, would you like one?
I love it and it will happen again.
4) If you’ve had the opportunity to have one, but didn’t - why not?
I tried to hold him off for a long time when he’d bring it up, then it happened… It was insecurity on my part before I did it.