How To Have A Good Wank
Clearly many of you have been looking for the answer to this particular concern. And I think it’s about time you got some answers.
So, here it is: The Nothing (much) To Report Guide To How To Have A Good Wank. Enjoy.
No, really, enjoy it. That’s the first rule. There’s no point in getting to know yourself personally in the “biblical sense” if you aren’t enjoying it. Half-hearted masturbation will only lead to disappointment and a general bad temper. Ask anyone who’s been there. *looks around*
Also, try not to get interrupted during your self-love time, unless you’re really into that sort of thing. It puts a big dampener on any orgasm. Especially if the someone interrupting you is a family member, and you’re just about to come. And instead of enjoying the moment and going with it, you’re very suddenly having to think and making sure they’re unlikely to see anything that would need mind bleach.
If you’re using sex toys, whether they be vibrating ones or not, be careful. You’d be surprised by the kind of injuries caused by those high-addictive gadgets. Blisters being the least of them!
Keep the Wank Bank well stocked. It’s not a joyous thing to discover during the latest round of spelunking that your mental store of fantasies has run out or gotten so over-used or tired as to be ineffectual and the need for external porn is great. More so if the internet is not available or there is no suitable literature to hand. That’s possibly one more aimed at the girls. Guys tend be more visual so you’re probably already got a handy stash of magazines or your favourite porn site on standby.
I have mostly assumed that it’s only gents looking for clues on how to self-pleasure. In the same way I’ve assumed that all the searches for the term “wanking my father” are for on the hunt for fairly harmless incest-based pornography and not actual tips and tricks on how to position yourself into getting a hand, lubed up or otherwise, on your old man’s cock until he splutters out a climax.
If it’s for the former that you’re looking, sorry, out of luck here, this ain’t that sort of blog. And if it’s the latter, ditto.
Ok, that’s it for part one. Should you have any questions, please send them to beachedwhaler(at)gmail.com or leave a comment.
Bea
gemma said,
9 August, 2008 at 12:06 am
Hello, i found your website because my dad wants me to wank him and im not really sure how to do it or what it means. he gets cross if i dont do things propperley so please can you help me. thank you very much.
Daniel Stoner said,
22 August, 2008 at 12:53 am
This site isn’t as good as some but it still helps because I used to wank real fast and not enjoy it as much as I should anyway my girl friend is in her bunny outfit so I am goin to get her in bed before she gets terned off
Chris said,
12 September, 2008 at 5:52 pm
This site i thought was really good. I do spend a lot of my time wanking and I’m always looking for new ways to do it and ways to make it more enjoyable. If you can give me anymore tips or different ways to have a good time then please email me and tell me.
Dave said,
29 September, 2008 at 12:36 am
Please. im waiting for new wanking material in Part 2, come on Bea put me out of my misery.
ben said,
7 October, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I love wanking i wear my mums g strings and wear makeup and i cum heaps.
april said,
26 October, 2008 at 12:45 pm
ma dad asks me to do it and he hits wen i dnt do it can u get help for me plz
Ben said,
31 October, 2008 at 6:01 am
wanking is great in bed & shower but it’s really boreing if theres no good ways…
could someone email me and tell me abit about wanking thanks
my contact info
Ben Jam
Sydney
Ph: Unknown
Mob: Unknown
Email Address: msnrox4lfy@live.com
email me please
ewbrtbr said,
27 November, 2008 at 4:36 am
i wank really good i luv it and all the cum goes every where
Bryn Griffiths said,
11 January, 2009 at 3:57 am
Me and my stepdad wank together all the time, every now and again we’ll wank each other off, and sometimes he even lets me suck his c**k. I sucked his balls once but I didnt like that because they tasted sweaty. The best though is when he sucks me off and i blow my load in his mouth, I get sooo horny.
johnny crumpet said,
22 April, 2009 at 12:58 am
I wank my tits and blow cum on a shit heap it makes me wanna wank harder
kieran19.9inch said,
23 October, 2009 at 10:34 pm
me and my uncle wank together he sucks my cock i suck his cock it’s makes me happy
blaah said,
20 November, 2009 at 10:19 pm
my girlfriend cant wank so i got her sister to do it she was shit to so…i got her mum…yeah, she was shit too