Notes From the Beer Festival
This is a collection of notes that we took in our more sober moments. Sadly the misspelling and the times of great laughter during writing can’t be expressed directly. All timings are approximate-ish. The bits in black are my additions as I type this up; the purple bits are my ramblings; and the orange bits are Moosh’s.
Friday Night:
I’m sticky and it’s only 7.27pm
It’s quite strong. Darwin’s Extinction Ale. We probably shouldn’t drink too much more of this. 8.3% 7.33pm
It doesn’t go down as easily as others.
It’s like a piece of fruitcake you really don’t want.
I smell grass and beer. Not the grass one smokes! Cigar too!
Surrounded by people standing! 20.21pm
Really needed that piss! So does Moosh right now.
Xylophone buggery – We Win. 00.44
“I wouldn’t be a tosspot if you fisted me more often.” 00.55
We still win xylophone buggery.
Moosh laughed until she cried. I just farted. Badly. It really fucking stank. She laughed some more. 1.28am
Saturday:
Tea. 7am. Followed by Mika.
Checking my sleeping bag for the wristband – I only managed to discover that it smelled of farts. Contained farts. We laughed at this. Alot. Again.
Saturday morning – lovely day. Damp. much farting all around.
I ache everywhere. And feel either sick or just hungry.
No, it’s hunger.
There was an overestimation of the amount of spillage with the Tesco breakfast. (with no fried eggs)
3-2 already. 9am
I *really* need to wash my windscreen.
We are faffing queens.
10.10 – I do not, nay, will not smoke any more fags!
11.30 – Pantyliner cache found.
The horse racing saga-serial continues.
12.00ish – I’m sure there’s an ant in my bum.
We then read out the previous writings. And laughed again at the amount of farting. It was good. 11.55am
12.08 – Harnessed beer farts to inflate the lilos would be nasty to deflate. Worse than contained beer farts in a sleeping bag!
1.22pm – Tom NOT the barman appears all in black.
“You have to suffer for your man love”
In a moment of brilliant timing, Moosh starts to say: “They just happen…” and then belches loudly. I find this amusing. so much so I can’t record it here. [in the notepad] She then joins in on the much mirth. Before long we are laughing ourselves silly and she says: “I can’t hold my sphincter!” More laughter.
4.15pm – In the George Inn
After some extremely hot cheesy chips and burp-inducing cider, it was decided to return to the RV to do some juggling. My audience of one is going to laugh and fart whilst this is going on.
[Except we never did do that. We tried to walk to a mates house, that she said was only 10 minutes walk. We walked for ten minutes and got nowhere near her house. This was sad, as we couldn’t then leave her a scribbled note through her door. Oh well. We didn’t get sunburnt thankfully,which was a strong possibility due to lack of lovely shade on many occasions. Nor were we run down thanks to speeding motorists.]
Sunday
Some time in the morning [Sunday morning, very early, with me in the tent and Moosh nowhere to be seen. With someone *cough* (edited out, sorry) somewhere]
Overheard: “Oi! You there! You on the green! Please do not make love on the green!”
6.50am – A warmer and slightly less uncomfortable night marred by snoring and ‘other’ noises. Some people have carried on all night with their chat, laughter and music.
I appear to be a touch shaky. But warm, so far. And not in dire need of the loo. Unlike several other times overnight.
7.13am – Dew on tent = Tent Gravy.
And that is about all we recorded. We probably would have done more, if we were programmed to so do. But we’re crap like that.
Tags: Frocester+Beer+festival, farts, camping, sleeping+bags
Items: 2 ¦ Relationship: None
I’ve been using WriteToMyBlog to edit some of these previous posts. So far, (it’s still in beta) they’re only allowing me to go as far as One Whiff of Davidoff, but as soon as this post is published I’ll lose that to play about with.
So far it’s been pretty use to use and things have gone so swimmingly that I’ve now taken the, perhaps, rash decision to use it to write all my future blog posts from. In my mini trial I’ve corrected spelling mistakes *ahem* that were left carelessly lying around, made the author of each post a little clearer to understand and added tags. I’m the kind of person who assumes things like adding tags would be far too difficult for me to get my poor wee head around, and as WordPress.com doesn’t have a nice ickle button I can just tap, I’ve avoided having anything to do with them. WordPress.com is very easy to use, but it does have it’s limitations – after hours lost trying to sort out the sidebar and faffing with various little extras I mostly refraining from attempting anything technical on this blog nowadays. So having a raft of buttons in the Advanced tab in WTMB, to do things with that I’d never have dreamt of including in a blog post is a tad exciting. OK, so I’m a sad git, who’s discovered (on looking at the source code of t’blog once these changes have been made) that actually it’s all fucking simple and easy. Buttons are making me learn HTML. Who’ve thought it?
Potential Sub-Heading: How To Stalk
Whilst doing this, I’ve been listening to music I’d have never had come across if I hadn’t done something, well, stalkerish. The ability to amuse and scare one’s self with what can be learnt about all sorts of people over t’interent, is predictably high. Naturally, there are plenty of things about myself I’d rather not the world know, but I can’t do much about my lack of discretion in the past.
Occasionally, this digging leads to much laughter on seeing pictures on long-forgotten websites that particular individuals would quite probably like no one to see, which is something I can very much relate to – which is probably why I’m less than totally thrilled with someone’s Flickr page.
All you need is a little bit of info, Google (or similar), WayBack machine or WhoIs and a nosey-parker attitude an inquisitive mind and you soon find yourself stumbling upon juicy little nuggets that will probably make you giggle, or sick. One hopes for the former. For instance, you could find yourself searching through to a complete and utter stranger’s Amazon wish list, before swiftly hunting down those artists they have listed on MySpace, and really liking what you find. Which means you’ve then *got* to buy/get the album too. And their back-catalogue. And future releases.
To this end, I’d thoroughly recommend Let Me Introduce My Friends by I’m From Barcelona; Wincing the Night Away by The Shins; Patrick Wolf‘s Wind In The Wires, Lycanthropy and latest The Magic Position; and the Hidden Cameras – Awoo to anyone.
So, I’d like to say to person who’s Wish List supplied me with a new musical landscape: thankyouverymuch for inadvertently sharing your,
clearly, excellent taste in music with me, and whoever else finds themselves in the same spot. And that I’m very sorry for snooping about, and potentially scaring the crap out of anyone, but that’s unlikely, cos who reads this?!?
P.S. I’m really not a stalker; I really can’t be arsed to put that much commitment into it.
-Bea Whale
Tags: WriteToMyBlog, I’mFromBarcelona, PatrickWolf, TheShins, HiddenCameras
Twas in response to someone’s comments, in a pervious post:
Who’d have thought it?! Me, offensive? Woo & yay! Sort of.
There doth be a comment attached to the previous posting, about my usage of a certain word.
I think now would be a good a time as any to explain some things.
I’ve never been a very committed religious type really. I put that down to a combination of a healthy interest in all things scientific and a fairly religious-free upbringing. Yeah, mum said we were Christians but we never went to church, not unless it was a school thing. We did the Easter eggs and the insane Christmas shopping and all that, but never truly thought about any of it. There was some vague idea of God, who lived in Heaven, wherever that was, and that good people that died (or cats, goldfish, budgies – for those were the childhood pets that perished in our house) went there. Even today, both my parents would call themselves Christians, despite not believing in any form of god.
I had a brief born-again Christian phase as a young teenager. I think the sheep-like quality of the people and my complete inability to get my head around some of the major points of that belief system stopped me from tripping too far down that particular path. (Still the same case, see later.)
Then, aged 17, the existence of paganism was introduced to me, via Cosmopolitan magazine, of all things. (What was I doing reading Cosmo at that age!?) The article was about witches, kitchen witches, if I recall correctly. Something about it clicked with me, it made sense to me, so I went about finding out as much as I could about this strange but oddly familiar world.
I have a deep love of history and folklore and learning how ancient (and modern) cultures explained the world around themselves was, and still is, fascinating. Being a pasty, West Country girl I was drawn to the ‘old ways’ of this part of the world. What I didn’t like was ceremony and ritual; a lot of new-age hoo-ha; the pick ‘n’ mix nature of some paths; the never questioning, the blindly following whatever is said/written.
I didn’t worship any particular god or goddess, although I did once declare (via text, I think) to a good friend that I’d “found my god”. A day of two later, I realised that the whole experience may have more to do with the chemicals of the anti-depressants I was taking zipping about my brain at the time rather than any great enlightenment.
So, not a particularly witchy-witch. Certainly not wiccan.
I’ve had many ‘wobbles’ about my beliefs. One of the biggest was after meeting and talking with Mr Williams. Once again, I mused over the concept of Christianity. Around the same time, I learnt about some of the probable fact from the fiction of the bible, thanks to a show on the BBC. This got me thinking some more and I developed a slight leaning towards Christian Gnosticism. (Which keen Waffle Watchers may have already read about, all but briefly.) Nevertheless, the old nagging ponderings returned. However convincingly they put it, I can’t believe in fundamental aspects of the Christian faith, nor any of the other major religions. *Should you really want to know what they are, just ask and I’ll tell, but probably not here.*
One of the longest surviving ideas throughout my (conscious) adult life is that all religion is ridiculous. (There’s that word again.) It just happens to be now that I actually belief it.
So, I’m a full-on atheist who happens to be an ex-witch, who’ll happily talk and share ideas, just don’t expect me to agree with you. Should you find fault with that, fine, tis your prerogative. Your comments may be deleted though, just cos I have that power, here at least.
-Bea Whale
Tags: Christianity, Witchcraft, Gnosticism, all+religion+is+ridiculous, Atheist
The One with the thorny issue of religion, and why my blog entries are rubbish.
I said there may be something almost interesting here soon. I lied about the soon bit, and I lied about the interesting side of it too.
It was originally written as part of an email to someone, a Christian of the Roman Catholic sort, incidentally. They haven’t said anything about me not cut ‘n’ pasting a chunk of it, so I assume it is OK to do so. (I could be wrong about that though!) [Oooh! The neuroses!]
This is it:
I have been digging around the murky world of Christianity. I AM going to hell, it seems. Some yankie site told me so. Well, I had broken 9 of the 10 commandments. Not murder, by the way. I presume that only applies to humans, and not say…. ants, otherwise I’m in big trouble.
I’ve printed off a shit-load (I think that’s the correct technical term) of information on Gnosis/Gnosticism (I’ve learnt there is a difference between the two terms, but don’t ask me what it is, not yet anyway). Which is odd. For me.
I think I like the idea of Gnosis/Gnosticism due the mysticism about it, and also it’s a good way of being branded a blasphemer, and why would I want to change the habit of a lifetime? But it is damn hard to my head around. Need some easier-to-read material methinks. Gnosticism For Simpletons would be good.
Bigger trouble is, I find out one bit of info, then discover that it comes from another source, so I have to look into that as well.
For example, this book review:
This book, despite some flaws, is an interesting and illuminating read for those sympathetic to the “real” Christianity (as I call it–if you’re more sympathetic to orthodox Christianity, let’s say Gnosticism is the “inner mystical core”). Perhaps the most glaring fault of this book is Hoeller’s description of Gnosticism as “the esoteric tradition of the west”. There is but a glancing reference to Hermeticism, which Hoeller characterizes as a “non-Christian Gnosticism”. It ought to really be the other way around–Gnosticism is a Christian version of the Hermetic Tradition, itself originating in Hellenised Egypt before the birth of Christ.
The last sentence is the bit that most caught my eye.
I think this digging is gonna take up a lot of my life. May also require some book reading too, which is fine, so long as I don’t have to pay for the blighters.
One thing at a time though. I’ll try and get my head around one matter/idea before running after another.
One thing I won’t be looking any further into is Kabbahlabalaa-baa, or however the fuck it’s spelt. Stupid ‘religion’ for people with more money than sense. £27 for a piece of red string??! To ward off the evil eye?! I might want the evil eye hanging around, just for fun perhaps. See what more shit and chaos my life can stand. Woo and yay! Oh dear. Got slightly too excited about the crapness of my life there.
***********
I got excited about this cos I actually had my brain in gear for once. The thinking bit and writing-whilst-sitting-in-front-of-a-pc thing joined together in a moment that produced something almost worth reading. I even mused quietly on this point within the email.
Why can’t I do the same when tapping away for entries into this here blog? The brain often just shuts down as soon as I sit in front of the monitor, as though the pc has the power to sap all my mental powers. (Which isn’t the most taxing of tasks in the world to achieve at the best of times.)
Anyway, that’s the news. Dull, I know. You wish you’d never even wondered what was gonna be about now, don’t you? All that wasted brain power!
-Bea Whale
Tags: Gnosis, Gnosticism, Christianity, BrainDrain
Nothing (much) To Report 